Basketball season has honestly kind of snuck up on me. For one thing, the NCAA insists on having a nondescript opening night to the season, opposite Monday Night Football and the day before Election Day, because who the hell planned this?

(What was actually wrong with leading off the season with the old Preseason NIT and a bunch of Thanksgiving weekend tournaments and then most teams starting their season around December 1… you know, not giving me a month where I have to compartmentalize football and basketball?)

And for another… well, Vanderbilt football has fortunately not given me many reasons to look ahead to basketball season. So that’s actually a good thing.

But also… I don’t know who the hell most of these guys are. Mark Byington is the new coach, and let’s just say the decision not to retain Jerry Stackhouse was a popular one. But almost none of these guys were on the team last year. I suppose I’ll have to figure out who these guys are by the time I do report cards in the spring. In the meantime, here’s who will suit up for Vanderbilt this season (which opens Monday night against Maryland-Eastern Shore.)

Karris Bilal, freshman point guard: You’ll notice a recurring theme in a minute, but Karris Bilal is actually a point guard. As a three-star who was signed by Jerry Stackhouse, well, we’ll see whether Byington has much use for him this season.

Jason Edwards, junior point guard: Will probably be this team’s leading scorer. Averaged 19.1 ppg at North Texas last season, as a sophomore. Spent the year before that averaging 21.9 ppg at Dodge City Community College. Spent the year before that redshirting at Division II Miles College in Alabama. The transfer portal success story; in a past life, he’d have set scoring records at Miles. Possibly a point guard.

MJ Collins Jr., junior point guard: Averaged 7.4 ppg at Virginia Tech last season. Also averaged 2.7 assists, so possibly a point guard. Was a starter at Virginia Tech, so I assume he could start here. Maybe.

Tyler Tanner, freshman point guard: Last year’s Tennessee Mr. Basketball at Brentwood Academy. We always should have room for local guys even if they’re considered fringe power-conference talents. Definitely a point guard. Remember the last time we recruited a point guard from Brentwood Academy? (No, you don’t, because we all erased that season from our collective memory. Shut up.)

Grant Huffman, fifth-year point guard: Averaged 12.9 ppg and 5.3 apg at Davidson. So, yes, a point guard. Also looks exactly like what you think a Davidson player looks like.

Tyler Nickel, junior point guard: Wears #5, because of course he does. Transferred from Virginia Tech, where he shot nearly 40 percent from three. Remember when our team had a bunch of white guys who shot 40 percent from three? I liked those days. Probably not a point guard, but he’s listed as one on the roster.

Graham Calton, senior point guard: He was on the team last year, but he’s a walk-on so this only sort of counts. Has played in 17 games over three seasons.

Jordan Williams, sophomore point guard: Another walk-on. Started 10 games last season as the annual “guy who Stackhouse occasionally starts when he’s mad at one of the normal starters.” Mark Byington will probably not do this.

AJ Hoggard, fifth-year point guard: Started 83 games over four seasons at Michigan State, so he’s probably good. Averaged 5.2 assists and 1.8 turnovers last season, so yeah, point guard. Probably the team’s actual starting point guard, now that I think about it.

Alex Hemenway, sixth-year point guard: Spent five years at Clemson, which is five more years than any person should spend in Clemson, South Carolina (apologies to Your Uncle Mike.) A career 42.9 percent three-point shooter. See above comment about “remember when our team had a bunch of white guys who shot 40 percent from three.”

Coleson Messer, redshirt freshman point guard: Another walk-on holdover. Follows the Anchor of Gold Twitter account, which is all you need to know.

Hollman Smith, fifth-year point guard: Presumably a walk-on. Spent four years at James Madison. Will definitely list Mark Byington as a reference when he applies for coaching jobs. If he doesn’t end up on our staff as a graduate assistant, anyway.

Jaylen Carey, sophomore point guard: Listed at 6’8” and 265 pounds, so the point guard designation seems a little ridiculous here. Maybe a point forward? Averaged 7.0 ppg and 4.3 rpg as a freshman at James Madison. Presumably, Byington wouldn’t have brought him along if he didn’t think he could play in the SEC.

JQ Roberts, sophomore point guard: Hey, the one guy on the roster we’ve heard of! Definitely not a point guard. Averaged 2.3 ppg and 2.3 rpg last year at Vanderbilt. Literally the only returning scholarship player.

Miles Keeffe, junior point guard: Walk-on in his third year in the program. Has appeared in eight games.

Chris Manon, senior point guard: Transfer from Cornell, which also once described Pax Whitehead and Nolan Cressler. Averaged 12.5 ppg there. Probably fine.

Kijani Wright, junior point guard: Actually probably a center. Out for an unspecified amount of time for reasons that Byington won’t talk about.

Devin McGlockton, junior point guard: Averaged 10.2 ppg and 6.3 rpg at Boston College. Wears 99, which is really all you need to know about him.

So… there you have it. I will be severely disappointed if we don’t give Devin McGlockton the nickname “Glock.”