Now that Week 15 of the 2024 NFL season is in the books, it’s time for an incredibly meaningful and serious exercise: NFL Power Rankings! What differentiates these rankings from all the others is that they’re THE only truly accurate ones in the entire universe. We use a proprietary system that heavily accounts for all-important vibes. Let’s take a look at how all 32 teams stack up. (Click here for last week’s version.)

BLG’S WEEK 16 NFL POWER RANKINGS

1 – Buffalo Bills (LW: 3) – Josh Allen has produced 14 total touchdowns to zero turnovers over the Bills’ last three games. He’s going to be MVP.

2 – Philadelphia Eagles (LW: 4) – Despite losing the turnover battle, the Eagles outgained Pittsburgh by 238 yards and outscored them by 14 points … while also kneeling down in goal-to-go territory to run out the clock on a 21-play, 88-yard drive that lasted 10:29. Questions about the viability of the Eagles’ passing attack were very much answered with Jalen Hurts turning in his best performance of the season. And against one of the NFL’s best defenses, to boot.

3 – Detroit Lions (LW: 1) – My friend Alex Reno, who’s a Lions fan and Pride of Detroit contributor, texted me this on Monday: “The injured reserve Lions are almost if not better than the Detroit Lions on defense.” The Lions are indeed very banged up and they might lose control of the No. 1 seed and/or NFC North down the stretch.

4 – Kansas City Chiefs (LW: 2) – The Chiefs still have a strong shot at the No. 1 seed in the AFC playoff picture but Patrick Mahomes’ injury certainly bears monitoring. Carson Wentz might have to play. And that might not go so well for KC.

5 – Minnesota Vikings (LW: 5) – To their credit, the Vikings have fully taken advantage of a soft schedule since losing two games in the middle of the season. But now things get tougher: at SEA, vs. GB, at DET. Not hard to envision them losing at least two of these games.

6 – Green Bay Packers (LW: 6) – The Packers aren’t going to be a desirable wild card opponent. They have a legit chance to upset the No. 2 or No. 3 seed.

7 – Pittsburgh Steelers (LW: 7) – Pittsburgh’s grip on the AFC North lead is slipping. After losing to the Eagles in Philly for the 11th straight time since 1965, the Stillers finish with these three games: at BAL, vs. KC, vs. CIN.

8 – Baltimore Ravens (LW: 8) – The Ravens returned from their bye week to predictably stomp the worst team in the NFL. Now let’s see if they can avoid getting swept by the Steelers.

9 – Denver Broncos (LW: 9) – The Broncos cemented their status as a wild card team by fending off Indy. Denver is one of three teams (also: Philly and LAC) tied for the fewest points allowed this season.

10 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers (LW: 12) – Only three teams have scored more points than the Bucs: the Lions, the Bills, and the Ravens. Don’t sleep on Tampa.

11 – Washington Commanders (LW: 10) – The Commanders came pretty close to losing in New Orleans. They’re good but they’re not great.

12 – Los Angeles Rams (LW: 15) – With four wins over their last five games (and the sole loss coming against the Eagles), the Rams are now first in the NFC West. Their final three games: at NYJ, vs. AZ, vs. SEA. Solid chance they close it out strong.

13 – Seattle Seahawks (LW: 11) – The Seahawks failed to hold onto their NFC West lead. They’re in danger of missing the playoffs entirely.

14 – Los Angeles Chargers (LW: 13) – The Chargers’ record against teams currently above .500 is 1-5.

15 – San Francisco 49ers (LW: 14) – With less than a 1% remaining chance of making the playoffs, it’s time to officially stick a fork in the Niners. Some people might believe this season from hell was karma.

16 – Houston Texans (LW: 16) – Congrats to the Texans on winning the Mid Bowl and establishing themselves as THE most mediocre team in the NFL.

17 – Cincinnati Bengals (LW: 18) – They’ll need help in the form of the Chargers losing to bad teams to get the No. 7 seed but Cincy has a shot at winning out (vs. CLE, vs. DEN, at PIT).

18 – Arizona Cardinals (LW: 19) – The Cardinals are still alive in their division but no one is going to take them seriously until they do something meaningful to earn that respect.

19 – Miami Dolphins (LW: 17) – Tua Tagovailoa has thrown seven interceptions this season. Six of them have come in the form of two three-interception games. When he’s been bad, he’s been really bad.

20 – Atlanta Falcons (LW: 21) – Kirk Cousins has thrown one touchdown pass to nine interceptions over his last five starts. The time to bench him for Michael Penix Jr. is overdue.

21 – Dallas Cowboys (LW: 22) – The Cowboys have done a great job of ruining their draft positioning and ensuring Mike McCarthy will get a contract extension.

22 – Indianapolis Colts (LW: 20) – Had the Colts been able to beat the Broncos, they would’ve had a good shot at making the playoffs. Indy has the NFL’s easiest remaining schedule by a significant margin: vs. TEN, at NYG, vs. JAX. Instead, these wins will only serve to ruin their draft positioning as they just miss out on the postseason.

23 – New Orleans Saints (LW: 23) – The Saints were a failed two-point conversion away from pulling off an upset against the Commanders. They’ve been a solid team since firing Dennis Allen.

24 – Chicago Bears (LW: 24) – The Bears had the Commanders beat … until that Hail Mary. That painful loss kicked off an eight-game losing streak.

25 – Cleveland Browns (LW: 25) – The Browns are reportedly benching Jameis Winston for Dorian Thompson-Robinson. So much for Jameis being the Browns’ QB in 2025.

26 – Carolina Panthers (LW: 26) – Bryce Young and the Panthers took a step back after previously showing some encouraging progress.

27 – New England Patriots (LW: 27) – The Pats have three games left to try to get the one win that’ll put them over their 3.5 projected win total. Their final three: at BUF, vs. LAC, vs. BUF.

28 – New York Jets (LW: 28) – Aaron Rodgers is out here talking shit after the Jets beat Jacksonville to advance to 4-10. Very cool move.

29 – Jacksonville Jaguars (LW: 29) – Doug Pederson’s got three more games left before he starts looking for a new job.

30 – Tennessee Titans (LW: 30) – Will Levis got benched for Mason Rudolph. Oof.

31 – Las Vegas Raiders (LW: 31) – Congrats to the Raiders for extending the NFL’s longest losing streak to 10 games. There’s a chance they’ll lose out and get the No. 1 pick. Their final three games: vs. JAX, at NO, vs. LAC.

32 – New York Giants (LW: 32) – The Giants’ final three games: at ATL, vs. INDY, at PHI. Losing out gives them a chance at the No. 1 overall pick but it does not necessarily guarantee it. It’d be great if the Eagles could afford to rest players in Week 18 and force the Giants to ruin their draft positioning with a win.