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When non-golfers buy gifts for avid golfers, hilarity often ensues.

It’s inevitable and even endearing. Even as the game grows in popularity, golf culture remains niche and peculiar. Non-golfers often have little to no idea of the level of nuance that golf-gifting can require.

Thankfully, the offbeat gifts can sometimes be the most memorable ones. Many good-faith attempts to give a golfer something useful – for the holidays, birthdays or Father’s Day – can sometimes end in the awkwardness of a forced-smile “Thank you!” followed by the mental wheels turning towards an eventual re-gifting. Or these misfires can end up taking on an unexpected life of their own.

I have received a lot of golf-related gifts over the course of my life. Some of them have been amazing and useful. Others have been so useless, silly and bewildering that I have come around to appreciating them equally for their oddity. I actually have a little menagerie of golf curios that I plan to display someday – an Island of Lost Golf Gifts.

Though nothing will top the case of canned lima beans I once won as a closest-to-the-hole prize at a golf outing for pure weirdness, here are five golf “gifts” that might actually be a curse to the golfer who receives them. Give these only if your goal is to poke fun at their obsession this holiday season.

With that, I’m putting on my “Golf Scrooge” hat. Be forewarned.

There are several versions of golf-flavored outdoor barbecue utensils and they’re all ridiculous. This Amazon treasure ($44.99) of a set even comes with a golf bag carrying case (of course it’s a cart bag) and two golf “balls” in the form of a salt and pepper shaker.

This is another golf gift genre that is roughly 99% junk or jokes, in my opinion. Little desktop putting games have tiny pieces that will be lost before the calendar turns and frankly, playing them can be even more maddening than the real thing. This two-way game will just be a $30 reminder to the recipient of the last three-footer he or she missed.

Some golfers (including new ones) are probably fine with it, but I cringe anytime I see the present-participle “golfing,” so there’s no way I’m going to wear these “I’d Rather Be Golfing” socks or this “I’d Rather Be Golfing” t-shirt. Know what I’d rather be doing? Not using the word “golfing.”

If you’re racking up strokes so quickly that you need a device like this to help keep you from losing count, you should instead invest in an actually useful and awesome golf item: our excellent $19 GolfPass Video membership. You’re welcome.