The final score tells lies, at least by omission. 21-18 implies a normal football game, and not a single point in the Commanders’ win over the Giants was scored without some accompanying angst or absurdity. There is a very normal way to get to 21 points, and it involves touchdowns, and Washington scored zero of those. There are several normal-ish ways to score 18 points, and all the ones you can probably think of include field goals, and the Giants had none of those because they didn’t have a kicker. Just another Sunday afternoon for two very silly teams.

It was not exactly “bad” football, though both teams are generally very bad. It was farcical, and perversely entertaining, and maybe antifootball, but the players all performed competently. Do you know how NFL rules contain a few obscure, vestigial rules from the game’s messy origins, rules that feel like they come out of a different sport altogether, because they do? On Sunday it was almost as if the Commanders and Giants were playing two entirely separate parallel universes’ versions of football, one where touchdowns were never invented and one where placekicking is forbidden, and the clash of styles actually made for some pretty good drama. These two teams and their fans will take competitiveness wherever they can find it, I suppose.

Let us start with the Giants, because we may only have so many more opportunities to talk about hot-seated head coach Brian Daboll. Daboll had a decision to make when Giants kicker Graham Gano popped up on the injury report Saturday with a groin injury. (The groin: a pretty important body part for kickers, historically.) Daboll could have activated a rookie kicker from the practice squad, either right away or perhaps when Gano looked pained taking kicks in warm-ups. He did not, and wouldn’t you know it: Gano got injured on the very first play of the game, trying to chase down the returner.

Daboll insisted starting Gano was not an error on his part, because Gano “didn’t hurt his groin, he hurt his hamstring.” 

“We thought Graham was good,” Daboll continued, in response to repeated questions from local reporters who smell blood in the water. “I think he would’ve been good if he didn’t pull his hamstring.” I suppose that’s broadly true of all hamstring injuries. Daboll did that embattled-coach thing where he belligerently insisted that all decisions are his and his alone, and while accountability is nice, after a certain number of poor decisions there’s diminishing returns on reminding everyone that you made them.

New York did have a backup plan; it wasn’t a very good one. After the Giants’ first touchdown, punter Jamie Gillan attempted the extra point and missed badly. That was enough for Daboll to abandon the plan, and go for two after each subsequent TD—both attempts were unsuccessful. That’s how you get to 18 points.

It’s also how you stay at 18 points. Late in the fourth quarter in a tie game, with the Giants driving deep into Washington territory, a normal active roster could’ve run down the clock and booted a short field goal for the win. Without the luxury of a kicker, though, the Giants were forced to go for it on fourth down from the 22, and rookie receiver Malik Nabers—who balled out all game—dropped a very catchable ball.

That gave the Commanders a short field, but they had functionally been on one all day. The Washington offense, especially the run game, looked sharp—for about 70 yards each drive. They never punted in this game, but they also never reached paydirt. This red-zone futility would have been a problem if they didn’t have Austin Seibert.

Seibert signed with the Commanders this week, the 27-year-old’s seventh stop since 2019. This time last week, he was practicing in an empty lot, kicking at a pine tree. The life of a kicker is a peripatetic one, and not exactly full of forgiveness. Still, it’s hard to imagine Seibert’s leash could be any shorter than the last guy’s. The Commanders traded for Cade York during camp in a deal that did not exactly express confidence: the return was a seventh-rounder, conditional on York being on the roster for two games. He missed both his field goal attempts in Week 1 and was promptly cut.

Seibert proved heaven-sent, setting a franchise record by nailing all seven of his FG attempts, the longest from 45. When he hit from 30 for the walk-off win, his teammates hoisted him on their shoulders and carried him off. They tried, anyway: “I’m kind of a meaty guy,” Seibert said.

Lest you dare think that a 30-yard field goal can’t be a heroic act, just imagine what the Giants would’ve given for someone capable of it. Instead New York became just the second team in NFL history to lose a game when scoring three touchdowns and allowing none, and the first to do it in regulation. Daboll found the proper scapegoat for the loss: his headset. It was, in the end, a glaring reminder of the importance of a kicker in any era, but also a football game that looked nothing like what we think of as football, at least not in the 20th or 21st centuries. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a game like it. I’m sure I’m not eager to see another.