I caught what was basically a podcast on National Public Radio the other day from a young man who was proud of the fact that when he turned 18 years old his mother sent him to a grocery store to buy a loaf of bread.

As related, the “kid” felt proud to become a “breadwinner” for his family. He went to the store by himself, selected a loaf of bread, got in line, paid for it, and then returned home. He was proud of his accomplishment.

I feel a certain amount of compassion for the youth. It is, for some strange reason, much harder for men to go shopping than women. I’m not trying to be judgy. I spent many years deliberately trying to get out of grocery shopping – unless there was no other recourse – and then I bought the wrong items as directed by my wife, who would inevitably chew me out and “never send me to the store” again. I think it gave her satisfaction knowing shopping was one of many things I wasn’t good at.

There were many times I was to never go shopping again without her. Fine by me. I had succeeded in my mission. I wouldn’t mind bringing down a mastodon, skinning it and salting the meat. But wandering through the cereal aisle? No way.

Regardless of which grocery store I went to, it was the wrong one. Regardless of the item – which she told me to buy – it was a different brand, wasn’t the right size, wasn’t on sale. And, Lord help me if I didn’t produce the right coupons. (I didn’t even know what coupons were before getting married.)

If I couldn’t find something, I was told to ask a store employee. Sure! Many a man will turn to a worker asking for advice. We would sooner take the spousal abuse by bringing home a head of broccoli instead of spinach (they’re both green). I would prefer to stand shivering in the frozen foods section looking at each individual ice cream container to get the right one, rather than seeking help from a store staff member who might be only a few feet away.

After my wife passed away, it became part of my duties to be the “breadwinner.” I share this responsibility with my daughter – who could be an award-winning chef should she turn her mind to it. We now travel weekly to our favorite stores seeking out quality foods for the cheapest prices.

My daughter typically writes a list, and then hunts down the produce, meat or other products, compares prices between stores and watches for sales. She’s good at it. And she always looks for value, which is why we’re eating more chicken these days and fewer snacks. I usually try and remember if we’ve missed anything.

Our standard method of “foraging,” is to go to Costco, Raley’s, Food4Less and Grocery Outlet. I’m driving the grocery cart. She doesn’t need me for this, but it makes me feel useful and teaches me how to “shop” wisely.

Just the other day, I discovered how much things really haven’t changed. We were at a grocery store and my daughter sent me off to buy some tortillas for a chicken enchilada casserole she was planning. I dutifully picked out a pack of flour tortillas and went to the produce aisle in search of some veggies.

A few minutes later, my daughter arrived, looked at the tortillas and said, “No, these aren’t the right kind. I wanted corn tortillas.”

Message received. I haven’t lost my touch.

– Jim Smith is the former editor of The Daily Democrat, retiring in 2021 after a 27-year career at the paper.