It’s the final rankings (in Europe’s singing voice) … well, I’ll also have a Week 18 edition for the absurd people or, hopefully, those betting, playing a one-off week, DFS or whatever. This week, we have abbreviated game previews and the good stuff! Yes, all the best (and worst) Christmas ranks! Oh, and actually, Week 17 fantasy football rankings, too.

Reminder! I always have some “for fun” ranks where I rate anything from cartoons to players from the ’80s to things not to do when you’re over 30 — feel free to suggest yours. I try to answer as many comments as humanly possible … however … simple questions such as, “Who should I start?” are covered, 99 percent of the time, within the rankings. Let’s duckin’ go!

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Week 17 Waiver Wire
Week 17 SOS Ranks
Fantasy 101 (weather, start/sit, trading, more)
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WEEK 17 FANTASY FOOTBALL PREVIEWS

Chiefs at Steelers, Wednesday, 1 p.m. ET

► Hollywood Brown had the second-most targets (eight), but ran just 40% of the routes. That makes him a decent upside gamble, even against the Steelers. If Brown sees 60-70% or more of the route participation, he can put up 100+ yards and a Top 20 performance. But it’s risky.

► If George Pickens plays, start him, but Najee Harris and Calvin Austin are benchable. Jaylen Warren is a solid Flex option.

Ravens at Texans, Wednesday, 4:30 p.m. ET

► Mark Andrews has nine touchdowns in his last 10 games behind only Ja’Marr Chase (11) and Terry McLaurin (10) and more than any other tight end by three TDs. Jonnu Smith and Sam LaPorta have six TDs each.

► It may be hard to swallow, but Joe Mixon isn’t a must-start. The Ravens have allowed a mere 65.5 RB rushing yards per game, and only Saquon Barkley ran for more than 63 against them. Additionally, Mixon has 8.1 fantasy points or fewer in three of the last four games, despite at least 15 touches in each.

Seahawks at Bears, Thursday, 8:15 p.m. ET

► If Kenneth Walker plays, he’s an RB2, as it’s likely the Seahawks wouldn’t risk playing him unless he were OK, but if Walker is out, Zach Charbonnet goes right back to Top-20 status.

► D’Andre Swift hasn’t scored double-digit fantasy points since Week 11 and is just RB35 in fantasy points per game since Week 9.

Chargers at Patriots, Saturday, 1 p.m. ET

► If J.K. Dobbins returns, he’s a high-risk/reward RB3. If he’s out, Gus Edwards is a touchdown-reliant RB3, and I wouldn’t immediately chase his Week 16 production, as he had a season-high in rushing yards and doubled his touchdown total.

► The Patriots are risky, even in the backfield, as Rhamondre Stevenson has ranged anywhere from 40.0 to 82.1 RBTouch% this year. While he’s more reliable when games are close or with the lead, it’s hard to predict when the Patriots can accomplish such a feat, staying close with the Bills but getting blown out by the Jaguars.

Broncos at Bengals, Saturday, 4:30 p.m. ET

► With 10.8 points, Audric Estime led the Broncos, but there are just two instances where the lead back has led the backfield in back-to-back weeks — Javonte Williams, Weeks 4 and 5, 9.0 and 13.6 fantasy points, respectively and Jaleel McLaughlin, Weeks 12 and 13, 4.4 and 8.9. You can’t trust anyone.

Cardinals at Rams, Saturday, 8 p.m. ET

► I addressed the RB situation in my waiver wire column, but additionally, the Rams have only allowed RBs Alvin Kamara and Saquon Barkley big days since Week 9. It’s not a smash spot for Trey Benson or Michael Carter if either is the lead.

► Matthew Stafford had his first back-to-back sub-200-yard game since Weeks 8 (injured) and 11 last year. The next game? Stafford threw for 229 and four touchdowns against … the Cardinals. Now, that is coincidental, but the Cardinals are a great rebound matchup for Stafford, Puka Nacua and even Cooper Kupp.

Jets at Bills, Sunday, 1 p.m. ET

► Breece Hall wasn’t on the injury report all week, and he ended up with his sixth-highest RBTouch% (76.0). If Aaron Rodgers plays, business as usual, but if he’s out, small downgrade to Davante Adams (volume), but Garrett Wilson’s outlook changes little.

► It’s not just Amari Cooper you can’t trust in Buffalo. You can’t trust any Bills wideout, possibly even Khalil Shakir. Mack Hollins is still ahead of Keon Coleman, and Cooper is behind Dawson Knox in route involvement. Shakir had just his second sub-8 fantasy point showing since Week 7, but Week 6 saw him contained by the Jets with a 2/2/19 statline and 2.9 points.

Raiders at Saints, Sunday, 1 p.m. ET

► Even against the Saints, the list of must-start players is one: Brock Bowers. Jakobi Meyers, Alexander Mattison and Ameer Abdullah are all deeper options with a bit more upside than usual given the matchup.

► As you saw against the Packers, if you attempt to start a Saints player, you’re asking to get coal.

Colts at Giants, Sunday, 1 p.m. ET

► The last time a team didn’t have a running back hit double-digit PPR points against the Giants? Week 18 of last year. That’s not only for  those rostering Jonathan Taylor but also Anthony Richardson, as the Giants even let Joe Burrow and Geno Smith run for 55+ yards.

► No, I didn’t trust Tyrone Tracy playing through an injury, and I’m sorry. The Colts are a good spot for him, which means, we’ll start Tracy and watch him go 11-for-37 without scoring. Yay feetsballing!

Cowboys at Eagles, Sunday, 1 p.m. ET

► Last week was Dowdle’s first non 100-rushing-yards game Since Week 12, and his first non-double-digit score since Week 11. It doesn’t get any easier for him, as the Eagles run defense is one of the worst matchups. Dowdle is a fringe RB2, especially if the carcass of Ezekiel Elliott is stealing goal-line carries.

► If Jalen Hurts plays, fire up everyone as normal. If Kenny Pickett is under center, A.J. Brown is still a must-start, but DeVonta Smith becomes a risky WR4.

Panthers at Buccaneers, Sunday, 1 p.m. ET

► Chuba Hubbard obviously had his best game since the bye. In fact, it was his best game of the season. He scored more points than the three previous games, combined. The Buccaneers have been tough, and Hubbard had 12 carries for 43 yards against them — all rushing — in Week 13. The volume is here, but so might be an RB2 finish.

► Jalen McMillan the last three weeks: 50.1 points (WR11) and 16.7 FPPG (WR13). You’re starting him.

Titans at Jaguars, Sunday, 1 p.m. ET

► Tony Pollard still has a higher RBTouch% (54) than Tyjae Spears (46) over the last two weeks, but with Pollard not practicing, playing through injury, and game scripts, Spears has been much better, including seeing four goal-line rushes to just one for Pollard.

► Brian Thomas Jr. is one of the fantasy MVPs as WR4 in FPPG since Week 11 and WR14 in FPPG on the season; he’s WR6 overall.

Dolphins at Browns, Sunday, 4:05 p.m. ET

► If Jameis Winston plays due to Dorian Thompson-Robinson sitting, Jerry Jeudy is back to WR2 status even against the Dolphins. David Njoku is a must-start, but Elijah Moore would be a gamble with or without Cedric Tillman playing. As mentioned, the Dolphins have played the pass quite well.

Packers at Vikings, Sunday, 4:25 p.m. ET

► Per waivers, if Christian Watson plays, he’s an appealing WR4 with more boom potential than most weeks. If he’s out, Dontayvion Wicks is a fun chase for those needing the upside. Jayden Reed and Tucker Kraft are the only two worth using outside of Watson and Wicks.

► T.J. Hockenson has just 5.6 FPPG on 17.7 TmTGT% over the last four games and is a man coverage matchup problem. Unfortunately, the Packers are only 23rd in Man% (22.2), which means Hockenson is in the streaming tight end conversation.

Falcons at Commanders, Sunday, 8:20 p.m. ET

► Drake London had his third-highest YPRR mark this year (2.68) and second-highest if you remove the Week 9 game where he left early (hip) — he’s a must-start if playing. Darnell Mooney is a very strong WR3 also with his third-highest YPRR mark of the year (3.15) with Michael Penix Jr. under center.

► It was ugly for Brian Robinson, but even with two fumbles — for turnovers! — Robinson had 57.1 RBTouch% and can rebound into RB2 territory against the Falcons.

Lions at 49ers, Monday, 8:15 p.m. ET

► The Lions run the most man — which you likely know by now — and George Kittle is much less effective against man with 1.67 YPRR compared to 3.08 against zone coverage. The good news is that Brock Purdy has 7.9 TD/ATT% against man compared to 3.0 against zone.

► After last week, it might be tempting to start Deebo Samuel, and I’m okay with the upside chase — plus, some fun with a last-man standing on MNF — but I’m less excited for Samuel if Isaac Guerendo plays.

FUN WITH RANKS

It’s Christmas time! And I’m gathering — and updating — all the Christmases of lists from past years into one huge Christmas.

Best Christmas Movies — SINCE 2000

1. “Klaus” — Origin story of Santa with a fun twist. Good animation, good feels. Top 5 all time, and possibly higher. Nicole and I watched it for the first time this year and can’t recommend it enough.
2. “Elf” — Even if you think Will Farrell is overrated, this is a great Christmas movie and is the source of numerous GIFs.
3. “Violent Night” — John Wick is Santa — essentially — enough said!
4. “Bad Santa” — Con-man (Billy Bob Thorton) pretends to be Santa at a mall to rob the stores during Christmas … and yeah … pretty amusing.
5. “Red One” — Hate on The Rock/this movie all you want, but it was a fun time.
6. “Surviving Christmas” — Easily the most underrated Christmas movie ever. Ben Affleck is likable, James Gandolfini is the dad, plenty of laughs in a story about a guy trying to “buy a family” for Christmas.
7. “8-Bit Christmas” — Cheesy for sure, but if you were a ’90s kid like me, you’ll appreciate it more.
8. “Spirited” — I was ready for cringe, and there is plenty, but it’s also not a half-bad Christmas movie.
9. “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” — 100% a true-blue, family Christmas movie, and it doesn’t pretend to be anything else. Just a good one.
10. “Nutcrackers” — Might not be everyone’s cup of tea … or eggnog. But the movie features real-life brothers (four of them) and is based somewhat on a “The Nutcracker” revision the middle child wrote. A bit hokey, but funny, and a good Christmas story.

Honorable Mention: “Carry-On” — If you’re counting “Die Hard” as a Christmas movie, then this counts. I wouldn’t count either one, as they’re not, but I also just wanted to poke at those people a bit.

DFL: “A Christmas Story” — Hate me all you want, but I can’t stand it.

Pre-2000 Greats: “A Christmas Vacation” (all-time great), “Home Alone” (another all-time great), “The Muppet Christmas Carol” (can watch this every year), “The Santa Clause” (the sequels are huge drop-offs, but this is a classic now), “The Nightmare before Christmas” (though, Halloween movie?), “Scrooged” (modern-day Christmas Carol).

Best Christmas TV Episodes and Specials

1. “DuckTales: How Santa Stole Christmas” (also, “Last Christmas”) — You had to know I’d put this at the top … and no, it’s probably not my true No. 1, but this is for the travesty of canceling the show, and I’ll be watching this with my niece and nephew anyway. But, turns out, Scrooge and Santa are old friends, then enemies. Scrooge helped start Christmas, and… watch it!
2. “Friends: The One with the Holiday Armadillo” — Ross wants to teach his son about Hanukkah, dresses as an armadillo, Chandler shows up as Santa and Joey surprises as Superman … for the Easter Bunny’s funeral.
3. “Futurama: Xmas Story” — John Goodman guest voices as an evil robot Santa who murders people on Christmas. Plus, Zoidberg is the hero… WUT?! And it is another seed in the series-long romance story of Fry and Leela.
4. “Seinfeld: The Strike (Festivus)” — Festivus for the rest of us! Airing of grievances! Can’t end Festivus until George’s dad is pinned! Two-face! Kramer working in the bagel shop! There is just so much greatness.
5. “Community: Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas” — Stop-motion/claymation style special with everything “Community” and old Christmas special rolled into one.
6. “The Office: Christmas Party” — Another show that includes an underlying romance story piece, and then the fighting over Michael trying to buy Ryan’s love (with an iPod), all thanks to Michael turning it into a Yankee Swap from Secret Santa because he hates his gift.
7. “Supernatural: A Very Supernatural Christmas” — I’m going to miss this show. Basically, Sam and Dean are hunting down anti-Claus, not too different from “Futurama”‘s Santa, who is taking humans as sacrifices – few shows balance humor, thrills and the feels like Supernatural did.
8. “Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Yippie Kayak” — Jake forgot Boyle’s gift, Jake gets Gina to help find a gift but Boyle comes along when they end up in the middle of a robbery with a hostage situation, and Jake is giddy to recreate “Die Hard.”
9. “South Park: Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo” — In a theme that still holds up today, “South Park” wants to eliminate Christmas to be politically indifferent. Mr. Hankey, theme song and all, saves Christmas and becomes a recurring “character.”
10. “A Charlie Brown Christmas” — Kinda falls in the middle of a TV special and movie. Iconic cartoon, songs, characters, etc.

Honorable Mention

• “How I Met Your Mother: How Lily Stole Christmas” — Ted is telling Marshall to get over Lily, saying, “You gotta get over that Grinch.” But the truth, from Future Ted, is that he said something else, and it happens again but the gift Marshall gets Lily makes everything right.
• “Chuck: Chuck Versus Santa Claus” — Fugitive crashes into the Buy More, Sarah sneaks in to rescue Chuck, who ends up shooting Mauser (Fulcrum) to protect Chuck, which makes him think Sarah is a murderer … not exactly what you would think for a Christmas episode, but if you watched “Chuck” and know the episode, you know why it’s here.

Best Christmas Desserts

1. Eggnog cookies/meltaways — oh.my.Santa! If you haven’t had these, make it a point to change that this Christmas!
2. Cream cheese cookies — trying to describe these doesn’t do them service… drool-worthy (#CheckTheLink for recipe).
3. Cinnamon roll anything — Though, try this cinnamon roll apple pie.
4. Gingerbread swiss roll — I’m not a fan of gingerbread cookies, but this swiss roll? Yum!
5. Snowball cookies — Filled with chopped nuts (I usually had walnuts or pecans).
6. Sugar cookie cut-outs — not the most delicious, but the must-have cookie of Christmas given the holiday shapes, red and green sugar, etc.
7. Snickerdoodle — similar to the chocolate chip cookie, a classically great cookie that some people only have during the holidays, which is strange.
8. Red and Green M&M chocolate chip cookies — the wonderful classic made festive with the M&M colors.
9. Rugelach — my mom has made these for as long as I can remember, and they’re vastly underrated (and yes, I had to look up the spelling).
10. Jelly thumbprints — you can pretend you’re being a bit healthy with some fruit.

Best Christmas Songs

1. “The Christmas Song” (Nat King Cole) — The King of Christmas and the king of Christmas songs.
2. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” (Andy Williams) — Another song that is all fun and enjoyment, and I could listen to it 10 times in an hour and not be sick of it (moved up a few spots because I’m just not sick of it this year).
3. “All I Want for Christmas is You” (Mariah Carey) — You can act like you don’t love it. You can pretend Carey isn’t amazing. You can say it isn’t the best original Christmas song in decades before it and since. But it would all be pure lies!
4. “Jingle Bell Rock” (Bobby Helms) — Arguably one of the most iconic Christmas song intros. You know immediately what’s about to be played, and a smile comes with it.
5. “A Holly Jolly Christmas” (Burl Ives) — Worlds better than the Christmas special this comes from and its song, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” This should rank higher on everyone’s list. It’s fun. It’s the personification of Christmas joy in a song. And honestly, “Rudolph” (the song) is short and repetitive.
6. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” (The Jackson 5) — Plenty of versions to choose from, but this one is undeniably the best with the talent of the Jacksons and it being a Christmas song sung by kids.
7. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” (Frank Sinatra) — Not every song has to be peppy and about pure fun. First off, Frank Sinatra might have the best male voice of all time (I own his “Best of” collection), and second, this song warms the heart (was seventh, but I’m feeling peppier this year).
8. “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” (Brenda Lee) — Back to the pep, one of the all-time best Christmas movies had a great scene with this song … “Home Alone.”
9. “Sleigh Ride/Winter Wonderland” (Dolly Parton) — “Winter Wonderland” is quality on its own, as is “Sleigh Ride.” How do you make them better? Make them two songs in one and a rare Christmas song lasting nearly four minutes. Kudos, Dolly.
10. “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” (Mariah Carey) — The original is good (Darlene Love), but Mariah Carey makes everything better. Honestly, tell me one song that couldn’t be improved by Carey singing it.

MOAR! Honorable Mentions, and Ones You Don’t Admit You Like

• “Christmas in Hollis” (Run-DMC) – It’s one of those songs you never turn off if it comes on, always start bobbing to and even try to sing along, but it’s doesn’t really have the loop factor, and if we’re honest, very few people know all of the words.
• “Here Comes Santa Claus,” “Frosty the Snowman” (Gene Autry)
• “White Christmas” (Bing Crosby) – A true classic. I know plenty will be enraged that it’s not in my top 10, but as you will see, I’m more of the fun/up-tempo type.
• “Mele Kalikimaka” (Bing Crosby)
• “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” (Michael Buble)
• “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” (various artists)
• “Last Christmas” (Wham!)
• “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” (*NSYNC)
• “My Only Wish (This Year)” (Britney Spears)
• “Underneath the Tree” (Kelly Clarkson)

Worst Christmas Songs

1. “All I Want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)” — Is that Towelie from “South Park”? The tune is almost as unbearable as the voice and whistling teeth.
2. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” — Peak annoying voice, tune and nonsensical lyrics.
3. “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” — You know why.
4. “Here We Come A-wassailing” — Somehow makes 1 minute and 12 seconds feel like hours.
5. “Dominick the Donkey” — If you like this, we can’t be friends … and I have Italian in my family, so don’t come with that.
6. “Twelve Days of Christmas “— How did I forget this one?! Maybe because I want to push this awful song in every variation with a fascination with birds into the dark depths of my mind where it can’t escape.
7. “The Christmas Shoes” — That’s what I want … a depressing Christmas song from a procrastinating dude.
8. “Mary, Did You Know?” — Feels like a church hymn (and first recorded mansplaining? I kid). Plus, we never get to hear from Mary.
9. “Grandma Got Run Over by Reindeer” — Proving Santa is real by celebrating grandma getting trampled by animals? Sure.
10. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” — More about tricking someone into staying over than anything to do with Christmas.

More Stinkers: “Santa Baby” (weirdly sexualized Christmas song that also makes the woman sound like a gold digger? The ’50s were weird), “The Chipmunk Song” (maybe ONCE a Christmas season, otherwise it’s headache-inducing), “Feliz Navidad” (more repetitively annoying than a kid saying, “Hey look, hey look, hey, hey, hey, hey look!”), “Little Drummer Boy” (super repetitive, especially the “par-rum, pum-pum-pum”).

WEEK 17 FANTASY FOOTBALL PROJECTIONS

🚨 HEADS UP 🚨 These can differ from my rankings, and MY RANKS are the order I’d start players outside of added context, such as, “Need highest upside, even if risky.” Also, based on 4-point TDs for QB, 6-point rest, and Half-PPR

Download Link Added WEDNESDAY Morning

WEEK 17 FANTASY FOOTBALL RANKINGS

🚨 HEADS UP 🚨

• There is no perfect widget out there, sadly, still. I know many view this on your phone, but 1) use the rankings widget on a PC/laptop/etc. if possible or 2) open in your phone’s browser, especially for Android users, to get the scrolling to work (or Android people can try a two-finger scroll).
• ECR = “Expert” Consensus Ranking (which isn’t updated by everyone consistently, so take with a grain of salt).
• Updated regularly, so check up to lineups locking.

(Photo of Tyjae Spears: Andy Lyons/Getty Images)