I spent a good chunk of Saturday in a very bad mood. It all started around 3am when I awoke with a not so enjoyable case of heartburn/gastrointestinal distress. I dealt with that and got back to sleep around 330 only to be awoken by my a**h##e dachshund around 7:15 to discover that I had developed a not so lowgrade fever. I took my dog outside, curled up under a blanket on the couch and proceeded to shiver in waves that ranged from mild to violent for ~2.5 hours. At that point I could not pretend that I wasn’t sick, so I took some ibuprofen and headed back to bed, hoping to get some sleep. I ended up watching several episodes of Bones instead and pretty much just laid there until about 330 when I decided I needed to take a shower.

Needless to say, I was not in the best way when the game kicked off and, aside from KJ2’s first TD trot, I didn’t feel a whole lot better at halftime. I even texted a friend of mine, that I know tends to let the game get an hour or so in before watching (so he can skip commercials) and told him to just skip the 2nd quarter. At halftime I popped a few more ibuprofen, refilled my water bottle and watched half an episode of Bones before my son returned from upstairs and asked if the game was back. Then something marvelous happened, Iowa remembered that they knew how to play football and a scant 2 hours later there they were, walking (then running) across the Huntington Bank Stadium field to retrieve college footbals most famous pig and return him to the loving arms of his Hawkeye Family and I, miraculously, was fever free and feeling good.

I’m not sure that I can credit Phil Parker and Tim Lester for my speedy recovery, but it sure as hell didn’t hurt.

First Half Doldrums

My primary concern coming into this game was how quickly the offense would be able to get its act together. This team has yet to score on it’s first drive of the game (though they have now scored twice on their second drive of the game, both touchdowns against Iowa State and Minnesota) and outside of the Iowa State game (13) they haven’t put up more than 10 points in a first half. So to say that they’re not getting out of the box well is an understatement. So when KJ2 broke his first big run, I had some hope that the slow starts we’ve seen so far had finally gone by the wayside.

Little did I know that there would be no more highlights for the half, at least not consequential ones.

The next 23 minutes of gametime saw Iowa run 23 plays, accumulate 63 yards (most of which came on two long, meaningless, runs by KJ2 right before halftime) and punt 4 times (Rhys Dakin had a very good day btw, 5 kicks, 248 yards, 3 inside the 20 and 0 TBs). The first half doldrums had returned, and they were making me, well, sick.

I’m sure I don’t have to explain this to anyone reading this, we are all familiar with the suffering inherent to the Iowa Football fan experience, but I live in the desert, so I didn’t have any mums to water and was still running a low-grade fever, so I pretty much just stewed for 25 minutes at halftime. I’m sure my thoughts weren’t dissimilar from many of yours:

• Is Cade always this bad or is it just in games?
• Is this the real Tim Lester or is he being handcuffed by Ferentz’s conservatism?
• When did our back seven forget how to tackle?
• How is Max Brosmer making this defense look like a FCS squad?
• Why is Logan Jones still playing center?

Needless to say, nothing good came of it and by the time my son returned from his room for the second half, I had started watching the episode of Bones that I had left unfinished prior to the game. I have to admit that I considered, momentarily, just skipping the second half and trying to get some sleep (I needed to be better for my 830 tee time the next morning) but let’s be honest, that was never really an option.

Second Half Heroes

5 plays, 67 yards, and 7 points was maybe the best possible way to start the second half. This time it was a no doubter and who doesn’t love watching a QB run lead block for his best RB? I’ll be honest, it gave me Nate Stanley feels for the briefest of moments (Cade couldn’t really keep up with KJ any better than Stanley could with ISM). The first drive out of halftime was just what the doctor ordered. Was it perfect? No, but it was damn close and I’ll argue that Ostrenga catch with anyone who wants to (especially after they gave Brockington the catch at the end of the 1st half – more on slowmo bias in a bit).

Phil Parker, as per usual, made all the right changes at halftime. Sending Nick Jackson over and over and over to add pressure completely changed Hosmer’s demeanor in the second half. Gone was the confidence and the rhythm that led to two straight TD drives to end the 1st half, here to stay was a QB that had no open receivers and nowhere to go with the ball, dancing around in the pocket just trying not to get killed as the DL pinned their ears back and went after him. They only recorded 1 sack and 2 TFLs all night, but when you hold your opponent to 66 yards on 22 plays over 30 minutes of football, the other stuff is just gravy.

Also, I love the Sullivan red zone package, if for no other reason than it forces the defense to account for one more threat in short yardage situations. Tbh, I’d like to see it elsewhere on the field as well, 3rd/4th and short, just give the defense something else to think about. From what I’ve heard that package won’t be coming out of the red zone anytime soon, but who knows? I mean, honestly, who’d have though Kirk would have even allowed a red zone package with the backup QB?

Are we there yet? No, not even close. Do I think we have any shot at beating OSU in Columbus in two weeks? No, I do not. Do I think we may at least make it a game for the full 60 minutes? Hrmmmm, probably not, but maybe 45 minutes this year. Cade is 1-0 lifetime against the Buckeyes, maybe he’s good luck in this one instance, but probably not, especially given Kirk’s struggles to have the team ready off the bye week.

Next week I’ll be doing a “1st Trimester” report card on the team in this column and that will, likely, involve a lot of footage that I wasn’t able to bring you the first three weeks. For now, enjoy some of my favorite moments from Saturday.

Highlight Gallery

As you likely noticed, I have solved the clip mystery, but I have grown fond of the more free wheeling narrative format so I will, for the forseeable future, be including fewer clips above and most of my favorite moments here. Obviously if the clip fits the narrative it will be delivered inline.

Higgins INT

Jackson Sack

KJ2 3rd TD

Brendan Sullivan on the sneak

Schulte Pick

As always, GO HAWKS!!!