Transgender people deserve all these rights and more. They should be able to marry, adopt kids and provide foster care. And yes, transgender women, you may absolutely use the bathroom stall next to me.

But participating in girls’ sports? If it’s just a fun game with no stakes, sure. But today’s sports typically aren’t for fun. So much rides on them. Scholarships, college admissions, a shot at the Olympics. When you’re competing at that level, the edge that comes from having developed as a biological male provides an unfair advantage. Taking female hormones can reduce muscle mass and testosterone, but they still have the longer limbs and larger cardiovascular systems that biology gave them.

There’s a reason we have men’s and women’s sports. Males are faster and stronger. Even if they grow up to be women.

At the risk of sounding like a schoolmarm, I do hope we take away a few lessons here. First, all sides should provide safe space for opposing views. Give grace for mistakes. Second, we can’t get everything we want. In saying yes to Lia Thomas, we say no to Riley Gaines.

And finally, let’s all remember that transgender girls in the K-12 system are just that: girls. They’re still kids. They’re young and trying to navigate a complex world. They’re frequently bullied or mocked. So in whatever conversation we have about transgender rights, let kindness prevail.