Tiger Woods, Xander Schauffele says, is still “El Tigre” to him. Fifteen-time major winner. Sunday red-shirt wearer. That dude. To that end, he said he’s heard Colin Montgomerie’s comments — the ones that inferred retirement — and he’s dismissed them. 

“Whether it’s his honest opinion or not,” Schauffele said, “the game of golf needs him, needs him desperately.

“Selfishly, I want him to play as long as possible. It just helps all of the guys out here, just with the amount of eyeballs that someone like Tiger Woods brings to golf.”

Schauffele was talking this week ahead of the Open Championship at Royal Troon, where for the first two rounds, he’ll play besides Woods, along with Patrick Cantlay. And it’s his mention of Woods and ‘eyeballs’ that segues nicely into a story, because you’d deduce that most folks around the game would know “El Tigre” by now.

But maybe not. Or maybe the person in question here was just doing their job as diligently as you would be in showing up to a St. Andrews tee time. Or maybe they were having the kinda day that’s the equivalent of a five-putt. 

The story comes via Twitter from pro Michael Kim, who’s generously shared other such nuggets on social media. And since it’s his, and it’s good, we’ll simply share it as it was written: 

“At the Open Championship, players get a clip as credentials to get you into the locker room and everywhere else. Mid 2000s, Tiger forgot his clip one day.

“And he was walking into the locker room when the security person stopped him asking for his credentials lol. 

“Tiger looks around, sees a massive billboard with his name and face on it, points to it, says that’s my credentials.

“And walked into the locker room.”

Boss move. A flex.  

Notably, in response to Kim’s story, a commenter noted that it was similar to a story that tennis legend Roger Federer shared a while back on The Daily Show. Below is the entire segment with Federer and host Trevor Noah, and Federer’s story starts at the 10:50 mark — and below the video is the complete conversation. 

Noah: “I was shocked to hear a story, which I don’t know if it was true or not. I was like Roger Federer, everyone in tennis, you cannot — the name is synonymous with the sport. You cannot, Roger — and then someone was like, well, you know, Roger couldn’t get into Wimbledon recently. I was like, wait, wait, that’s not possible. It’s Roger Federer. Is this a true — is there even a semblance of truth to you …”

Federer: “Yeah, yeah.” 

Noah: “Wait, no, no, I need to understand. What happened?”

Federer: “It was actually two weeks ago. So I was in Tokyo for my sponsor Uniqlo. And I came back to Wimbledon, actually to London to come see a doctor for having a second opinion on my knee because my knee has been not great lately. And then I didn’t want to tell Wimbledon that I was going to maybe be there, and I didn’t know if I was going to have time to go by the club because I was going to fly home to the family. So doctor appointment was done, look on the watch, OK, we got two hours to kill, so what are we going to do? Do we head to the airport? Or let’s quickly go have tea at Wimbledon.”

Noah: “Of course.”

Federer: “So I’m like, let’s go. But I have not really been at Wimbledon when the tournament is not on. OK, so I drive up to the gate where usually guests come in, where, let’s say, you would arrive, and then you go up. And so I get out to tell my coach, who was with me at the time, Severin [Luthi] — I quickly go out and speak to the security lady. You know, I got this. And then …”

[Here, the audience, Federer and Noah laughed.]

Federer: “I did not. So then I get out, and I’m like, yes, hello, just was wondering how I can get into Wimbledon. You know, where is the door? Where is the gate? And she’s, yeah, do you have a membership card? I’m like, uh, we have one? Because when you win Wimbledon, you become a member automatically.”

Noah: “OK.”

Federer: “Yes, and I honestly don’t know about membership cards — they’re probably at home somewhere — and I’ve just been traveling, so I had no idea. So I’m like, no, I don’t have my membership card, but I am a member. I’m just wondering where I can get in. And she’s, yeah, but you have to be a member. So I’m like, OK, this is going to be difficult here, this one. So I’m like, no, I am a member. And normally I am here so — I have to start again, right? So I tell her, normally when I’m here, I’m playing. And there’s loads of people, and I come in a different way. And now it’s the first time I’m here while the tournament’s not on, and I don’t know where to get in. So I’m just asking you again, where can I get in? She’s like, well other side, but you have to be a member. So I look at her one last time, and I’m in a panic now. And I’m so sorry. And I couldn’t believe — I still can’t believe I say that because I still feel bad about it. And I look at her and say, I have won this tournament eight times. Please, believe me. I am a member. And where do I get in? So I’m like, OK …”

[Here, the audience, Federer and Noah laughed.]

Federer: “So then, I get back in the car. My coach is like, oh, good, where do we get in? I’m like don’t — don’t talk. So I’m like, let’s go up and around the gate. It’s like …”

Noah: “So she doesn’t let you in?”

Federer: “No.”

Noah: “Oh, wow, OK.”

Federer: “So then I go out, and I go around on the other side. So I get out of the car, and random person walks on the walkway and says, oh, Mr. Federer, my god, I can’t believe you’re here at Wimbledon. Can we take a selfie? I’m like, yes, let’s take a picture. And the security guards that are there, they’re like, oh my god, Mr. Federer, what are you doing here? Do you have your membership card? I’m like …”

[Here, the audience, Federer and Noah laughed.]

Federer: “No, I don’t. But is it possible to get in? Of course, we’ll open the door, let me organize it, and I walk in and the chairman was there and everybody, and I was having tea for an hour. And I thought of going over to the other side and giving a wave that I was in.

“But I didn’t do it.”

Nick Piastowski

Golf.com Editor

Nick Piastowski is a Senior Editor at Golf.com and Golf Magazine. In his role, he is responsible for editing, writing and developing stories across the golf space. And when he’s not writing about ways to hit the golf ball farther and straighter, the Milwaukee native is probably playing the game, hitting the ball left, right and short, and drinking a cold beer to wash away his score. You can reach out to him about any of these topics — his stories, his game or his beers — at nick.piastowski@golf.com.