Some experts compare landing your dream job to finding the perfect mate. And that means preparing for job interviews like primping for a first date to avoid “shift shock”– the realization that your new role, just like a first date, is not what you expected. Suppose you want to avoid the “churn-and-burn” culture where companies overwork their employees and find a flexible, low-stress job that supports work-life balance. Chances are you check out the company before the interview just like you get the scoop on a first date’s LinkedIn or Facebook page before you meet.

Think First Date Before Job Interview To Avoid ‘Shift Shock’

If you’re like most people, you want to put your best best forward in a job interview. You look in the mirror to make sure everything is in place. Research finds that 36% of people notice someone’s teeth before anything else. So, you check–no lettuce when you smile, makeup covers the crows feet, your collar is straight and you’re dressed for the part. You might even look in the mirror and tell yourself, “You got this.”

But you also want to make sure the job or first date is right for you. So you turn your attention to that person–also wanting to appear interesting and engaging–who shows their best side, too. Just like in job interviews when hiring managers paint a rosy picture of a position job applicants apply for. Or when companies try to attract talent by career catfishing and advertising ghost jobs that they never intend to fill.

It’s important that job seekers think ahead before committing to a new role, much like before committing to continuing a relationship after the first date. On dating apps, most people set clear expectations by voicing what they’re looking for in another person. In a job interview, you voice the desired role and ask specific questions regarding the position, salary and general job expectations throughout the hiring process.

“While hiring managers are a resource for information, it’s also important for candidates to do their own research about the roles and organizations they’re interviewing,” according to Josh Millet, founder and CEO of Criteria. “An organization’s website, Glassdoor or LinkedIn page provides candidates with important information on their values, goals and even how long employees have chosen to stay with the company—all of which candidates should ensure align with their expectations.”

5 Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore To Prevent ‘Shift Shock’

Avery Morgan, chief human resources officer at EduBirdie, views job interviews as first dates. If you don’t spot the warning signs early, you might end up in a bad relationship–same red flags, different settings, she told me by email. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, Morgan shares the five biggest red flags to watch out for when job-hunting—because, she tells me, when it comes to your career, you deserve “the one.”

1. Don’t fall for the “imaginationship.” Building up relations in your mind before anything happens–whether in job hunting or dating–sets you up for disappointment,” Morgan explains. “Don’t ‘crush’ on an opportunity before an offer and beware of love-bombing–if a hiring manager floods you with empty promises, they might be keeping you hooked or selling a ‘dream job’ no one else wants. Keep a list of your non-negotiables and compare them with what’s promised. Ask tough questions about challenges, daily life and the next steps to get a clear view of the facts before committing.”

2. Run if they trash their exes. Morgan cautions that if a recruiter or hiring manager starts badmouthing former employees, take it as a warning. Like in dating, she states, it’s a sign you might be next. “Even if the topic doesn’t come up, ask who held the role before you and why they left. If you get a direct and respectful response, it’s a good sign. A professional company doesn’t dwell on past drama; they focus on the future.”

3. Avoid a toxic family in disguise. “Some workplaces have the salient traits of toxic families: favoritism, high drama and inability to address deep-seated problems,” Morgan points out. “Joining a company means becoming part of a workplace culture, just as dating someone means dealing with their family dynamics. To avoid the pitfall of a toxic corporate family, pay attention to the team’s energy during the interviews. Are employees engaged and respected, or do they seem overworked and hesitant?” She agrees with Millet, advising you to check out the reviews on Glassdoor, ask about turnover rates and trust your instincts if something feels off.

4. Watch out for the “mama’s boy” boss. Morgan’s experience tells her that some managers act like they need permission from a higher-up for every little decision. “If your potential boss constantly defers to higher-ups or name-drops the CEO, they might be more of an order-taker than a leader,” she notes, adding that this can slow down your growth. “Ask about decision-making in interviews–who approves projects and how much autonomy do managers have? If it all has to go through ‘mama,’ decide if you’re okay with that dynamic,” she advises.

5. Ghosted? Handle it with dignity. “Getting ghosted stings, be it after an interview or a date,” Morgan acknowledges. “But rejection is inevitable–don’t take it personally, see it as redirection.” She suggests that you follow-up once with something like, “Hi, I enjoyed our conversation and wanted to check in on the hiring process. Let me know if there are any updates.” If you don’t hear back after a week, she recommends letting it go, concluding that if a company can’t manage a simple response, it’s not a place you’d want to work anyway.

A Final Wrap On ‘Shift Shock’

According to U.S. News, “shift shock” was one of the top 10 workplace trends of 2023, and the pattern gained steam in early 2024. A 2024 survey reported that 72% of respondents reported having “shift shock,” and 80% of the respondents said it’s acceptable to leave a new job before six months if it doesn’t live up to your expectations. Morgan’s top dating-inspired tips can help you dodge bad employers and find a better fit elsewhere that’s worth committing to.