Good news everyone: the Packers are frauds.

All those wins? Fraudulent. All that history? Fraudulent. Spotted Cow? Fraudulent.

From now on, the Packers will simply be referred to as huge, gigantic dorks. I can’t think of another way to describe them after the latest reporting – from The Athletic’s Senior NFL Writer Diana Russini – detailed just how lame their latest submission to the NFL Rules Committee is.

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According to Russini, the Packers are the lone team that wants the NFL to get rid of the Eagles’ Tush Push. Other teams may quietly hate the play, but the Packers were the only one bored enough to actually go to the NFL and make a fuss. (And in case you can vaguely recall the Packers also running that play but can’t remember exactly when, don’t worry: you’re absolutely right.)

The Packers proved once and for all that they are huge, gigantic dorks.

“The Green Bay Packers submitted a proposal to the NFL’s competition committee to ban the ‘tush push,’ according to league sources Monday,” Russini reported. “… Philadelphia began using the play a couple of years ago and the play has been a topic of discussion around the league, even being discussed by the competition committee ahead of the 2023 season.”

There’s no head-to-head record, or amount of Super Bowl rings, or roladex of problematic Hall of Fame QBs, that can erase the damage this does to the Packers’ brand. What a deeply dorky thing to spend your time pursuing. The NFL isn’t getting rid of the Tush Push any time soon, something the Packers surely knew before they tried to be lowkey about the funniest and most pedantic complaint of the NFL offseason. It’s almost brazen enough to respect in an ironic way, but the dopiness of it all is too much to laugh with.

So, to recap: the Packers lost three of their final games of the year, including the home finale to a *bad* Bears team, got boat-raced in their playoff cameo against the eventual Super Bowl winners, and then complained about how losing to the Eagles isn’t fair. Sounds like the workings of a well-run organization to me! Not even the mystical power of Toyotathon can save the widespread embarrassment and shame that this brings to the entire city of Green Bay. It also can only mean one thing: the Bears are back.