Naomi Osaka has likened her loss in qualifying for the Cincinnati Open to “being postpartum”, adding in an emotional post on Instagram that the feeling “scares” her.
The former world No 1 took more than a year out of the game as she became a mother for the first time last July before returning to action in January.
The four-time Grand Slam champion has struggled for consistency since her comeback, failing to progress past the second round of the French Open and Wimbledon after a first-round exit at the Australian Open.
Currently ranked 90th in the world, Osaka lost to American Ashlyn Krueger – world No 65 – in the final round of qualifying for the Cincinnati Open, prompting her heartfelt social media post on Tuesday.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how I feel for the past several hours,” Osaka said. “In a weird way I’ve come to appreciate losses, you don’t play tennis for 20+ years without your fair share of them.
“My biggest issue currently isn’t losses though, my biggest issue is that I don’t feel like I’m in my body. It’s a strange feeling, missing balls I shouldn’t miss, hitting balls softer than I remember I used to.
“I try and tell myself ‘it’s fine you’re doing great, just get through this one and keep pushing’, mentally it’s really draining though. Internally I hear myself screaming ‘what the hell is happening?!?!'”
She added: “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve played a handful of matches this year that I felt like I was myself and I know this moment is probably just a small phase from all the new transitions (clay, grass, clay, hard etc), however the only feeling I could liken how I feel right now to is being postpartum.
“That scares me because I’ve been playing tennis since I was three, the tennis racquet should feel like an extension of my hand.
“I don’t understand why everything has to feel almost brand new again. This should be as simple as breathing to me but it’s not and I genuinely did not give myself grace for that fact until just now.”
The Cincinnati Open served as the final opportunity for a tune-up for Osaka prior to the final Grand Slam of the year, the US Open, where she is a two-time champion (2018 and 2020).
Despite her prior successes, Osaka’s ranking means she requires a wild-card entry into the main draw if she is to avoid another dice with qualifying.
Choosing to remain positive despite the fears highlighted in her post, Osaka signed off by saying: “I love the process (though the process doesn’t love me sometimes haha), putting in work every day and eventually having the opportunity to get to where you want to be.
“I know life isn’t guaranteed so I want to do the best that I can with the time that I have, I want to teach my daughter that she can achieve so many things with hard work and perseverance. I want her to aim for the stars and never think her dreams are too big.
“Nothing in life is promised but I realised that I can promise myself to work as hard as I can and give it my best shot till the very end. See you in New York.”
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