“This is going to be the worst run I’ve ever done. Worse than when I came last in my high school gym class’s one mile race. Less publicly humiliating, sure, but somehow slightly more crushing.”

These were the thoughts that repeated in my mind when I took the first few strides of what I hoped would be a two-mile run. It was my first time lacing up my running shoes after taking nearly four years off running, during which time I’d had two children. In an attempt to quell my nerves, I reassured myself that all I had to do was keep going at my current pace, which resembled a slow-motion jog, until my kids woke up from their naps. I’d signed up to complete 41 miles in one month to celebrate the Nike Pegasus ($140) turning 41 years old, and every step was bringing me closer to this goal.

Four years ago, this feat would have been a breeze for me. Although I’d avoided running in high school, in college I found my footing when my sister encouraged me to train for a 10K race with her. After that, running became not only my favorite exercise but an important part of my social life. From running half-marathons in New Zealand and Maui with my sister to completing the LA marathon with my husband, I always had a race on the horizon.

In March 2020, I was preparing for a half-marathon. On Mar. 8, I clocked 11 miles at a 9-minute, 17-second mile pace — my fastest pace yet. But soon after the race was canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and I stopped running. Then I entered my mom era, having two kids in two years, and the thought of finding the time and energy for running again felt ridiculous.

But the opportunity to participate in a Nike Run Club challenge seemed too good to pass up. The timing seemed right: I’d been back at work for a few months and had childcare. With that combo though, I was spending an increasing amount of time sedentary. During my mat leave, I’d easily hit at least 5K steps a day. Once I got back to work, I felt a bit chained to my chair between video meetings and pumping sessions. So I decided I couldn’t be a “Just Don’t Do It.” Here, what my experience getting back into running was really like.

How I Started Running After Having 2 Kids

As the saying goes, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” In my case, it began with ten days of procrastinating. But also, is it procrastinating if more and more keeps getting added to your plate? Work was busy, kids were up at night with colds, I had family in town, and these all felt like (and were!) very legitimate obstacles devouring “me time.”

Of course, like many moms, “me time” is typically lowest item on my never-ending to-do list, and often feels like an appendix to a book that I can’t even find. At the beginning of this experiment, my youngest was 8 months old and this was going to be the first substantial amount of time I would be spending on just me since her birth. Carving out that time felt daunting. As is true of most things, the 10 days of worrying about when and how I was going to run, usually in the middle of the night, was worse than the actual physical discomfort of getting back into jogging.

All that to say: by the time I finally laced up my Pegasus, instead of needing to run just over one mile a day to meet my goal of 41 miles, I now had to run two — or more, if I didn’t want to have to find time to run every single day.

Which brings me to that first run. I went out knowing that though it may feel like my worst run ever, I was going to keep moving for as long as my legs allowed (or, let’s be real, my kids woke up). The first run felt like an out of body experience. Somehow my legs were moving, albeit slowly. I kept expecting my legs to give out, my pelvic floor to break, or to receive a text that the kids woke up early from their naps — but none of that happened.

As the strangeness of the run started to wear off, a new sensation came over me: I felt free, like I was literally running away from responsibility. I blasted music through my Shokz running headphones ($180), and felt like I was at a concert. I floated around in a dance-jog-movement and was able log 5 miles before my kids woke up, at a 12-minute, 38-second pace.

When my run was finally over, my mind couldn’t believe I tackled that distance. My body felt like it sprinted 50 miles. The adrenaline and runner’s high vanished when I got home and my body gave out. I just lied on the floor, too tired to move —turning me into a great vessel for my children to climb over. Thirty-six miles to go.

The Importance of Recovery

The balance of push vs. rest became the biggest theme of the month. I’m more comfortable with overshooting a training plan than potentially risking missing my goal because I need to dial it back, which has led to injuries while marathon training in the past. While my instinct was to ignore my body’s pleas for me to please stop, I couldn’t avoid my Oura Ring readiness score, which looks at the body’s responses in addition to activity levels to determine whether it should be a working or a rest day. I realized that tackling these miles wasn’t just about the runs; I was going to have to factor in some recovery time.

I went to see the best massage therapist I’ve been to, Sabrina Pacleb at The Now, for a deep tissue massage to work out the kinks. During my 50-minute session, she recommended I come back for a longer session and focus on The Stretch, a massage for athletes to help improve flexibility and range of motion. I screamed “No!” (internally). I hadn’t done much (any) stretching after my long runs, citing the same old excuse: just not enough time.

Sabrina demonstrated a few stretches I could tack onto my runs, and I said I’d do my best to incorporate them into my routine. Then I surprised myself by actually doing them — and they worked. Between the massage and stretching, my muscles were recovering faster after the runs, and my Oura ring readiness score continued to improve. I’m proud to report that I completed the challenge without any injuries.

Time Management Was Paramount

When I signed up for this challenge, I knew that getting in the time for the runs (and recovery) would be challenging. My late start also meant that I had to be creative with finding the time for the runs.

Luckily, I was able to test out a Bob stroller ($580) during this challenge. If the only way I could get the miles in was taking my infant daughter along on the weekend, I did it. And let me tell you, running with a jogging stroller is tough. I had to stop a lot and walk some, but I definitely couldn’t have completed all 41 miles without it. Plus, as I used the jogging stroller more and my daughter got more used to it, the rides with her ended up being very fun.

I also took a few Barry’s classes to log some miles indoors when the LA weather got sweltering, since I don’t belong to a gym. Every moment I was able to give to completing this challenge felt like the biggest victory — even more so than logging longer distances or seeing improvements in my speed.

How I Completed the Running Challenge

By the end of the month, I was able to complete all 41 miles. I somehow also found time to get two massages and stretch after most of my runs. My biggest takeaway was once I committed to it, I was able to find the time. Yes, it can feel impossible to fit more in the endless mental load of work, time with kids, school pickups, making food, laundry — and on and on. Having two small children can leave my attention fragmented, but having a short-term goal jumpstarted the routine I needed to take on a new activity.

After taking on this challenge, I feel reinvigorated to run and I’m already planning to run a half-marathon. This time, I’m hoping to make some progress and only start training nine days later than I should.

Genevieve Farrell Genevieve Farrell Roston is an award-winning filmmaker and the director of fitness and wellness video at PS. She oversees PS Fit, which makes fitness fun and accessible for a community of more than six million subscribers and which has a library of videos that has received more than one billion views. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Southern California with degrees in Film Production and Marketing. With more than 10 years of experience in the entertainment industry, she has produced films that screened at festivals, such as the Tribeca Film Festival, and were licensed by Showtime. Genevieve is a NASM-certified trainer and has created content for brands including Fitbit, Samsung, and Under Armour.