This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Daniel Peebles, a 27-year-old stay-at-home dad in Arizona. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
While I was growing up with my dad in Virginia Beach, he would surf often. When I was 8, he asked me to start filming him surfing.
I learned to love telling stories, and as I got older I picked up the camera again to make videos for my family and friends in our town for $100 each.
I grew that into a successful film career, but I quit to stay home and care for my two children, one with special needs, while my wife runs a company.
I decided not to go to college because I knew what I wanted to do for a career. At first, filming was just a hobby, but I started to get serious and charge more.
Through word of mouth, local businesses in our area contacted me to ask if I offered filming and editing services. I charged local companies between $1,000 and $3,000 per project.
Courtney was working as a producer at a megachurch. We worked together on film projects and hit it off. We married in 2018 and moved in together.
I realized that the film projects I was doing here and there would not be enough income for a family — I needed a real job.
In 2018, I worked for six months at a mortgage company. Courtney was a multimedia specialist at the time. We were making good money but were miserable and wanted to spend more time together. We both quit at the end of that year.
Our first son was born in December. Courtney stayed home with our son, and I picked up freelance film work, but I lost all my film clients when the pandemic hit. Since opportunities were scarce, I networked and got a full-time job as a film director at Ironclad.
I was grateful for the work and the $80,000 salary. With bonuses, it was well into the six figures annually. Our second son was then born in May 2021.
I traveled constantly. There were some weeks where I was gone three weeks out of the month. Every time I left home, I felt a ping because I didn’t want my sons to grow up with a dad who wasn’t around.
After my son’s diagnosis, I started scaling back and moved into more postproduction, which kept me at home.
My son requires supervision at all times and is on long-term care through our state. I’m the registered provider under the program. If I weren’t registered, attendants would come to our home whenever needed.
Courtney found that the toy industry lacked toys for neurodivergent kids. My younger son had a lot of mobility issues with his hands. She couldn’t find any toys to help him with those movements.
She started making things just out of cardboard, and then she kept having more ideas. Courtney started Solobo LLC, our family toy business, in March 2023. We invested $10,000 we had saved into prototypes.
At first, she worked on product creation, marketing, sales, and logistics for the business at night while I worked during the day.
As the business grew, I told Courtney how miserable I was being away from her and the boys, and we talked about her passion for the business. I hesitated about becoming a stay-at-home dad, but it seemed to be the right choice.
I was on my way to becoming the lead director of production when I quit my job at Ironclad in June 2023. I took the leap even though we had no savings at that point.
My dad traveled a lot for work while I was growing up, and I didn’t get to see him as much as I wanted to. Staying home with my sons was more important to me than the money.
One of my kids wakes me up — they’re my alarm. I get up and cook breakfast for the family. Courtney goes upstairs to work while I play with the boys.
We have activities a few times a week. I teach them practical things, like how to swim. The boys go to school a few times a week, too — it’s an inclusive learning space through play.
I help Courtney with fulfillment coordination, inventory, and logistics at night. We have a few regular subcontractors and a team of pediatric experts.
Our relationship has become stronger. Courtney and I first met through work, so it’s cool to be working with my best friend again. I get the privilege of spending more time with my boys than most dads, and it’s beautiful.
I’ve had people approach me who are genuinely puzzled that Courtney and I don’t get tired of always being around each other. We work, laugh, cry, and dream together, and I wouldn’t have it any different.
How I grew up — dads work and moms stay home — I felt there was a stigma for stay-at-home dads, but I did it anyway. I can see how we’re building a better future for our boys.
I love the stay-at-home dad life. The only reason I would consider returning to work depends on the level of care our son needs (as he gets older) and where our business is by then.
Everyone thought I was crazy when I quit my film industry job to become a stay-at-home dad, but it was the best decision for our family.
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