• Kelly Campbell worked in the Canadian government for 16 years before burning out and quitting.
• She maintained an unsustainable pace at work until a friend’s death influenced her to take a leave.
• Campbell wishes she would’ve used her transferable skills to quit her government job sooner.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kelly Campbell, a 42-year-old former Canadian government worker based in Ottawa, Ontario. It’s been edited for length and clarity.

In 2007, I lost my best friend when we were in a car accident. I went back to work a week later and, shortly thereafter, began my 16-year career in the Canadian government. I never truly grieved her death, I just buried it under a pile of work.

Over the years, I established my status as a high-achiever and let praise from colleagues fuel a vicious cycle of overworking and perfectionism, leaving me with nothing left to give to my family.

For a decade, I knew I should’ve left public service, but it was a hard decision.

My government job gave me purpose

I started my career in government as a senior analyst in 2008. Over the years, I rose through the ranks before being promoted to the executive level in 2021.

My job gave me a lot of purpose, and I loved that I could interface with the outside population and see how my work was actually impacting people’s lives. I worked a typical 9-to-5 in-office schedule, but for at least three days a week, I’d come home and keep working into the night.

As the years went by, my workload increased, as did the sense of urgency for tasks to be completed.

My family got a completely different version of me than my coworkers

I started working from home during the pandemic, and it became impossible to ignore how different a person I’d become when I’d close the door to my home office to be with my family.

To my coworkers, I was the perfect boss and the best colleague, but to my family, I was snappy and impatient, with no more energy to give. I felt immense guilt and disappointment in myself.

Work was the only place I didn’t feel like a failure which only reinforced my pattern of overworking and perfectionism.

My accident was a wake-up call that things needed to change

In June of 2022, I had a panic attack and fell off an 8-foot ladder while trying to hang a swing in my front yard. I ended up in the hospital with, luckily, only minor injuries, but I still felt too shameful to admit I needed off work. It was a clear sign things needed to change.

A few months later, I planned a month leave from work to care for my husband after his scheduled open heart surgery, but really it was my excuse to take time off. When his surgery was delayed several months, I couldn’t use it as an excuse anymore. I told my manager I’d be taking an indefinite mental health leave for myself.

To my surprise, she told me she was relieved because I’d been maintaining an unsustainable pace for so long.

When I finally took my leave, my body collapsed, and it was hard to return to work

I’d wake up to get my kids off to school and go back to sleep for five more hours. This lasted every day for probably the next month and a half.

At the start of month three, my husband went in for surgery, so I was caring for him, but I still napped every day until month five. I spent my time attending therapy, reading self-help books, and simply getting introspective about my life. I think I went through three journals.

Most importantly, I finally grieved the loss of my best friend. I had grieved her little by little, but I really profoundly grieved her loss and found peace in it.

After six months, I gradually returned to work, but I realized it wouldn’t be easy to return to the exact environment that burned me out.

The death of another friend made me realize it was time to resign

I tried to incorporate new boundaries, like keeping work contained to a 9-to-5 window, but I couldn’t do it. I had six hours of meetings, which didn’t leave me enough time to do my actual job and other important work. I felt myself barreling toward another burnout.

In February of 2024, I was on vacation when I got the news that a friend of mine had died from cancer. My friend’s death reminded me life is too short to be spending the next 15 years counting down to retirement.

The cost of staying at my job was higher than the price of leaving

When I returned from vacation, I told my manager I was going on leave. Nine months later, I resigned. My new job has given me more time to be present with my kids.

After spending a few months recovering from work, I transitioned to part-time leadership and grief coaching, which I’m really enjoying. I wish I had realized sooner how many transferable skills come with being a public servant.

I’m in a privileged position because my husband is a public servant who will receive benefits and retirement if he stays.

I was so fortunate to have a secure job, but I couldn’t keep spending my life languishing and wondering what might happen if I took a chance on myself.

If you’ve quit your job due to burnout and would like to share your story, please email Manseen Logan at mlogan@businessinsider.com.