Holey Moley, which also has locations in Austin, Houston and Denver, allows people to play nine holes for $14 or 18 holes for $26 (discounted to $10 or $20 for anyone under 21). The bells and whistles are mostly confined to the front nine, although going for the full 18 means golfers get to venture upstairs, where it’s much calmer. The kitchen is up there, too, where french fries are served in a shopping cart with functioning wheels.

The game took about an hour and a half, enough time to put down one bathtub and one Pop Til You Drop (vodka, lime, watermelon and prosecco, served in an adorable ceramic unicorn head) for $14. 

I didn’t win, but since low-stakes competition plus two drinks tends to bring out the tiger — not the Tiger — in me, maybe, in the end, I did.