The early stages of each new NBA season are a time for widespread optimism and excitement. Many young players around the league will further establish themselves among the sport’s elite: Paolo Banchero, Anthony Edwards, Victor Wembanyama, etc. Several more—your Chet Holmgrens, your Brandon Millers, your Evan Mobleys—will make the leap into stardom, or even superstardom, delighting their fans and promising years or even decades of excellence to come. Unfortunately, many other young NBA players are poop from the anus of fate.

Here is that group:

Johnny Davis (pictured)
Chris Duarte
Jalen Duren
Scoot Henderson
Josh Giddey
Kobe Bufkin
Jalen Pickett
Ochai Agbaji
Davion Mitchell
Corey Kispert
James Wiseman
Isaiah Jackson
Jett Howard
Ben Sheppard
Jeremy Sochan
Dalen Terry
MarJon Beauchamp
Blake Wesley
Wendell Moore Jr.
Nikola Jovic
Bones Hyland
Patrick Baldwin Jr.
TyTy Washington Jr.
Peyton Watson
Max Christie
Jarace Walker
Taylor Hendricks
Keyonte George
Jalen Hood-Schifino
Cam Whitmore
Noah Clowney
Dariq Whitehead
Kris Murray
Olivier-Maxence Prosper
Marcus Sasser
Nick Smith Jr.
Brice Sensabaugh
Kobe Brown
Ziaire Williams
Tre Mann
Kai Jones
Keon Johnson
Jaden Springer
Day’Ron Sharpe
Luka Garza

Please immediately discontinue any feelings of hope or excitement associated with these bozos, who stink.