As if Oakland, Calif., could not fall deeper into the crapper, retired NFL running back and ‘useful idiot‘ Marshawn Lynch is considering running for the city’s mayoral seat.

How dare you be cruel toward the affable Marshawn Lynch!

Given that Lynch’s only contribution to public life has been running with a football, swearing on live television for laughs, and occasionally appearing with a blunt in his hand, it’s not unreasonable to predict that Lynch would be a terrible mayor. In fact, that might be putting it mildly.

On his “Politickin'” podcast with California Governor Gavin Newsom — need I say more? — Lynch hinted at the possibility of running for mayor as the current mayor, Sheng Thao, faces an ousting from her role.

GENIUS:

Referencing the movie “Head of State,” Lynch laid out his game plan to fix the crime-infested city. And if you’re curious about the type of leader Lynch could be in office, just listen to him yourself. 

“Do you remember when Bernie Mac was walking through when he was slapping the s**t out of everybody?” Lynch asked. “That’s how I would be coming through there … slapping the s**t out of everybody, like, ‘Get your s**t together.’”

In 2024, it’s easy to imagine this guy winning a mayoral position solely based on his NFL career and cashing in on any opportunity presented to him in his retirement.

As Fox News Digital reported, violent crime in Oakland was up 21% in 2023 from the previous year, with 120 homicides, 3,531 aggravated assaults and 3,690 robberies (per Oakland Police Department’s annual citywide end-of-year crime report).

Newsom, starved for celebrity approval, hyped Lynch as the perfect man to run Oakland based on his alleged 43 percent approval rating and “seven percent” unfavorability rate for the former Seattle Seahawks running back.

“That’s off the charts, brother,” Newsom said. “Seven percent unfavorable? That never has happened in my life.”

How Newsom got his hands on that type of data is beyond anyone’s imagination. According to Politico, Newsom spoke with pollsters who shared that Lynch’s favorability is actually up to 61 percent, “while his unfavorability ticked up a bit to 23 percent.”

Listen, Marshawn Lynch doesn’t sound like a bad guy. But the truth is, he’s a dolt.

As OutKick’s Armando Salguero expertly chronicled, Lynch once took up an opportunity to film a segment in Communist-run Cuba to beef up his travel vlog for NFL on Prime … completely ignoring the widespread starvation and dire living conditions of Cubans, just for the sake of a photo opportunity.

If Lynch loves Cuba, just imagine how well he’ll run Oakland. 

Brilliant, isn’t it?

Also, Lynch refers to Newsom as “Batman,” which is ironic considering the mismanagement of the Golden State.

“We don’t want to jump the gun just yet, from what I was told,” Lynch said. “I gotta good internal team, you know, and I want to make sure I take this off-line with my internal team and make sure this is something that we really wanna do.”

Lynch is truly a ‘useful idiot’ and nothing more. 

If you find Lynch impressive enough to run Oakland, well, it’s time to hit the concussion protocol.

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