Off we go, to another round of speculating how much a human being is worth based on their ability to kick a ball from Point A to B, to assigning which country someone should move to for the betterment of their career, despite our lack of knowledge regarding their personal circumstances and frame of mind. Yes, the cheeriness of the new year has washed off for the Rumour Mill rather quickly.

Speaking of woe, what are Manchester United up to? Viktor Gyökeres remains an obvious target to pursue, owing to his history with Ruben Amorim. According to the Daily Star, Amorim “cannot wait until the summer” for the Sporting striker, the manager made to sound like a child pleading for Christmas presents in June.

Amorim also wants another goalkeeper to rival André Onana, so says the Manchester Evening News. As for movement the other way, Casemiro remains a target in the Saudi Pro League, opening up the possibility of another knockabout with his old pal Cristiano Ronaldo. Victor Lindelöf and Christian Eriksen could also be moved on as part of a United clean-up.

In regards to Liverpool’s out-of-contract-soon triumvirate, Trent Alexander-Arnold remains another desired collectible for Real Madrid, who are weighing up another bid to sign the full-back for a reported £20m after having a first pop at it rejected.

Another full-back potentially on the move is Arsenal’s Kieran Tierney, mooted with a return to Celtic five years on from leaving his boyhood club. The Gunners need someone to help out with Bukayo Saka’s absence and have been linked with a number of forwards, including Randal Kolo Muani. Fulham’s Andreas Pereira is desired by Marseille, reports the Times, and who doesn’t want a bit of Dani Olmo? The Barcelona midfielder’s registration hoo-ha continues, meaning his name continues to jump from one big club to the next.

It was on these pages yesterday that Martín Zubímendi was listed as a target for Manchester City … but let’s forget about that for now. City have reportedly ruled out a move for both the Real Sociedad midfielder and Newcastle’s Bruno Guimarães.

Another player apparently going nowhere, according to the Daily Mail, is Jake O’Brien, who won’t be loaned out by Everton despite barely featuring for the club since signing in the summer from Lyon. And Matheus Cunha, currently on the naughty step, won’t be allowed to depart Wolves, with the Telegraph reporting that the club are talking contracts with the Brazilian forward. Moving home in this weather’s pretty rank anyway.