Ashwin, 38, who returned home in the middle of the series after not being picked for the third Test in Brisbane, shared his thoughts on his YouTube channel.

“I needed this break. I left the series midway. I did not talk much about cricket, though I did post a few things on X after the Sydney and Melbourne Tests. I did not talk about retirement because it was very important for me to respect the sanctum of the dressing room. The fan war is very toxic nowadays,” Ashwin said.

“You should know that sometimes, it is done instinctively. When you feel that my job is done. By staying here, it’s not working out…if that thinking comes, there is nothing else left to think. People are saying many things but it is not such a big thing. I didn’t play the first Test, played the next, didn’t play the next one. It could be that I would have played the next Test, or maybe not. At that time, I thought I lost my creativity.”

While Ashwin tried to rationalise his decision, stories of team discontent during the series continue to flow think and fast, and his call to return home early sticks out.

Ashwin had endured a middling series at home against New Zealand with nine wickets in three Tests where India were clean swept by the visitors. Ashwin was under pressure to keep his place after understudy Washington Sundar came into his own in that series. Ultimately, Washington played the first Test in Australia at Ashwin’s expense. Whether the communication between head coach Gautam Gambhir, chief selectors Ajit Agarkar and Ashwin was clear and how the senior spinner took it is not clear.

Ashwin played down talk of regret at not getting a farewell Test match. “I personally believe that there is nothing important in having a farewell match. I just want to be honest. Just think, if I get a farewell Test, but I am not deserving of a place in the side, I will not be happy.

“If I played for another year, I can tell you 100 per cent I would do well. That’s the cricketer in me talking which will not allow me to give up. But I also think, I don’t want a celebration for me.”