Last week was very disappointing and emblematic (symbolic) of my season. I was looking at 9-1 thru the 1 pm games. Devonta Smith drops a first down catch, Washington covers, drops to 8-2, and then proceeds to go 1-5 the rest of the way for a 9-7 week. Brutal. Not gonna dissect the late slate, but I assume I got royally screwed. They are winding down the regular season, and the playoff seedings are starting to take shape.

I’ve always argued that teams are not motivated by seeding. Once they are in, does it matter if they are the 3 or 4? The 6 or 7? There might be occasional nuance where it could matter, but for the most part, the mentality is that we will play anyone, anywhere, anytime. Let’s see what we get the rest of the week!

Bagel Bites: NFL Week 17 Predictions, Preview, and Picks

Chargers at Patriots (+4.5)

It’s an early game for a West Coast team traveling east. It’s cold weather for a soft California team. These are your only deterrents. There is a massive coaching advantage and a playoff-clinching scenario for the Chargers. It’s only 4.5. I gotta lay it. Herbert played in Oregon. Harbaugh coached in Michigan. I gotta believe they aren’t gonna be soft in the cold. Chargers going away. Business trip

Broncos at Bengals (-3.5)

I want to take the Bengals seriously, but this is a field goal game. I’ve been bagging on the Broncos all season, and this is a typical spot for me to go against them. If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s a terrible defense, so I can’t take Cincinnati here. They let the Browns hang around with a 3rd string quarterback last week. I think Bo, the company, can do enough to stay within three and possibly win outright. Please give me that hook!

Cardinals at Rams (-6.5)

The Saturday nightcap features my dead Cards vs. the upstart Rams. The Cards killed the Rams at home in Week 2. The Rams have Seattle on deck in a possible division-winning matchup. I do think they take care of business here. The Rams are healthier, while the Cards are getting unhealthier—and they just got eliminated. At home, prime time, and a revenge spot. I can see a big Rams win on tap. Lay that 6.5.

Colts at Giants (+7.5)

It is torture talking about the Giants. Young people can’t fathom the shell of an organization they’ve become. Once before, leading to the “heyday,” we all clamor for. But are Bill Parcells and Lawrence Taylor walking through the door? Are we drafting another running back? It’s an entirely rudderless organization. Maybe when Richardson (or Flacco) put 40 on them in front of 12,000 people, the owner might realize he needs to get completely out of the way. Do some charity work. Maybe Trump needs an ambassador to Kenya or some shit. I hate them so much. Lay it.

Jets at Bills (-9.5)

My 1 in the 1-5 in the late slate was the Pats vs Buffalo. Loved that one. All over it! With KC clinching the home field, Buffalo is pretty stuck. Not going up and not going down. So what to do? Preseason mode? That doesn’t necessarily mean you are not eligible for the playoffs. Go all out? An injury now could be catastrophic—a challenging position for Buffalo. I’m going with the points and the stupid Jets. If Buffalo decides to blow them out, I’m all I’m it. I’m just not sure which team is showing up, so I gotta take the points.

Titans at Jaguars (-1.5)

This AFC South game is a three-point game. The home team is Jacksonville, and the score is less than three. The Jags have to win by three. Right?!?

Raiders at Saints (-1.5)

Gross. Raiders playing their way out of a top 5 pick. Building for the future! Do they dare win 2 in a row? Nope, the Saints come marching in here in a game that should be flexed into March.

Panthers at Bucs (-7.5)

What a disappointment the Bucs were in Dallas. Now, they are in a tough spot, not controlling their destiny. PanthThe panthersaare  win gwin-gohe road—the Bucs, offaare  lost set back home. Get the right game here, but it’s probably too late for Baker and the boys now. It was a terrible loss to Dallas. Laying it.

Cowboys at EAGLES (-9.5)

It’s the Cooper Rush vs Kenny Pickett matchup we’ve all been waiting for. Do you ever wonder why they try to protein the quarterbacks? This is why. Red jerseys are coming, folks. I’m tdon’t the points in a game I used to root for injuries. I don’t care; I want the Eagles eliminated from the playoffs, and then I can relax. The Cowboys keep it close.

Dolphins at Browns (+6.5)

They shouldn’t window with only two games this week. This one shouldn’t count either. This DTR kid is not an NFL quarterback. As bad as Tua is in the cold, on the road, or versus a good defense, they should be able to do enough here versus an overmatched DTR. Laying it here also. Done with the Browns.

Packers at Vikings (-1.5)

I may have picked against the Vikings, but not times this season. It’s not working out. Like Denver, I don’t believe they are 13-2 good and a true contender. Yet they keep performing and making me look foolish. So they win a field goal game here when the lights are brightest? Should we mention they have the Lions next week? Are we living in a world where Minnesota wins this game, then beats Detroit next week and gets the number one seed?

Then I need Sam Darnold to beat Saquon in the playoff.? That’s an awful scenario; therefore, it’s Minnesota! I’m seeing ghosts already! Boo. Packers get revenge from Minnesota’s beatdown earlier this season? Does Jordan love to throw another 3threeinterceptions? A lot of questions here! I’m gonna finally take the Vikings. Not a great sign for them. Lay it.

Atlanta at Washington (-4.5)

These teams stink. They can sell whatever they want. Excan’tg rookie quarterbackAtlanta’skers, etc. Whatever, these teams stink. You can’t take anything from Atlanta’s performance vs the minor league Giants last week. Now they go on the road. Possible letdown spot for Washington? There was an emotional haven’t last week. It would be tough for Washington not to make the playoffs, but they haven’t clinched yet. Atlanta found themselves in a division battle thanks to Tampa. Dome team outdoors in December. Is it a Dan Quinn revenge game? There are a lot of variables, and ultimately, it could’ve been a field goal game. Please give me the 4.5.

Detroit at San Francisco (+3.5)

It could’ve been a great game! I mentioned that seeding typically doesn’t matter, but in this case, you gotta believe the Lions want that one seed. I will have to earn it with Minnesota next week. San Fran is in the odd position of spoiler. Do they have the horses? Does Detroit have enough tape to keep their defense together versus a Kyle Shanahan-led offense? The Niners didn’t do much vs Miami last week and just might be ready for the offseason. One last great effort from the Niners? Or Lions roll? You wouldn’t be the home underdog, which is tasty here, and I can see it if the Niners were good, but they aren’t. Loved the Lions last week in Chicago. Like them here. Lay it

There you go, a zesty NFL Week 17 preview. I would love to get a double-digit weekly total before the season ends. It continues to elude me, but we press on. Thanks for reading and for your support. Best of luck this week!